You may well have read our numerous blog posts about problematic attitudes, behaviour and their impact. But you may think, “That’s not me. I’m better than that.” You may well be confident that you’re not guilty of the bullying behaviour that is all too common. At the same time, you may know that you’re not guilty of any lack of respect toward your colleagues. That’s the second biggest contributor to burnout. So, you can be happy that you’re not doing anything wrong. But is that enough? Let’s consider the subject of gratitude.
Gratitude and cultural differences
We can consider gratitude on a number of ways. On one level, it’s an emotional perception when we feel grateful. On another, it’s a linguistic expression when we say thank you. And it can be a reciprocal behaviour, when we respond to someone helping us out by taking practical action in response.
Our level of appreciation regarding another person’s actions is directly related to our level of expectation. If someone falls short, we may be disappointed or even disgruntled to a greater or lesser extent. When they fulfill a basic function and our expectations are met, it doesn’t really put us up, nor down. We feel neutral. It’s when people exceed our expectations that we are most likely to feel gratitude.
Our individual expectations vary from person to person and also from one context to another. So, it probably comes as no surprise that the way we express our gratitude also varies from person to person. However, another variable in the way we express appreciation, and one that is all too easily overlooked, is cultural heritage. A 2018 study on the subject explored the behaviour of people from different nations who spoke different languages across five continents.
The researchers found that English language speakers were the most likely to say the words “thank you” or use of any similar phrase in response to someone helping them with a task. However, many English speakers are surprised to discover that it’s not uncommon for other languages to have no direct translation for “thank you”. They simply don’t have equivalent words or phrases in their lexicon. Also, in some other cultures, the words do exist. Yet to use them would be considered highly unusual and even a bit odd.
That doesn’t mean that people of these cultures don’t feel or demonstrate gratitude. It’s just that they are more likely to show their appreciation via cooperative behaviour and reciprocal helpful actions than to express it verbally.
The impact of gratitude and the challenge
When we feel appreciated, we feel more socially valued. We feel like we belong. The knock on effect is that we are more likely to be a proactive team player. We are more likely to take practical steps to support people around us, even when this may be challenging. Being appreciated also reinforces our self-esteem and belief in our own abilities.
The medical profession is rich in cultural diversity. And here’s the challenge. Doctors working together may well be communicating verbally in the same language. Yet the cultural differences can mean they are communicating gratitude and appreciation in ways that their colleagues are struggling to interpret.
When we are unaware of such differences, they can create confusion and misunderstandings. We might even feel unappreciated. However, cultural diversity becomes a strength when we discuss our differences and learn from each other.
- Demonstrating appreciation through action only takes you so far. Other people will be more aware of your gratitude when you verbalise it.
- Saying “thank you” only takes you so far. Others will be more aware of your gratitude when you follow up your words with cooperative behaviour and reciprocal helpful actions.
But, we must feel gratitude before we express and demonstrate it. And feeling gratitude is directly related to your awareness of other peoples’ efforts. That means noticing what your colleagues are doing and the circumstances they are performing under. The current pressure levels can make us blind to this and we can slip into a world of expecting everyone to simply get on with it.
So, pause, take a moment to notice and appreciate your colleagues’ actions.
And now think:
Am I more likely to verbalise my gratitude or to demonstrate it by actions? Could I do more of either… or both?
These are important elements of both good team communication and compassionate leadership.
Stephen McGuire – Managing Director
